Molly Jones, LSW is the Clinical Coordinator for the IAFF Center of Excellence. In this role, Molly is responsible for working with community clinical partners to design continuing care plans for clients returning to their local areas after treatment at the Center of Excellence. Molly works with local and state IAFF leadership to connect fire fighters to quality clinicians and programs in communities across the U.S.

Articles:

• 5 Tips for Achieving Work-Life Balance
• The Power of Perspective: Managing Priorities as a Busy Fire Fighter
• Asking for Help Can Be the Difference Between Life and Death

Welcome to our Community Education Series, hosted by the IAFF Center of Excellence for Behavioral Health Treatment and Recovery. Okay, everyone. We’re going to go ahead and get started. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is Kelly Savage. I’m one of the community outreach directors for the IAFF Center of Excellence for Behavioral Health Treatment and Recovery. I’m here in not so sunny, Orlando, Florida right now. 

My co-director Myrrhanda Jones is on the call as well up in Alaska. We are excited to offer this training, as a part of our initiative to offer more education, more training to fire service members, to clinicians and community members looking to gain more knowledge and insight, about treating fire fighters and the behavioral health needs that, the Center of Excellence has been on the forefront of, so this presentation is intended for fire service members, but I think a lot of people can probably gain some great things from it. It’s focused on work-life balance in the fire service.

You know, that’s something that we hear a lot about that can be really hard for certain people that other people have found a great balance for themselves and Molly our clinical coordinator at the Center of Excellence is going to dive deep on some of those issues and how they can best be addressed for different people in different ways. So without further ado, I will introduce Molly, our presenter for today. She will tell you a little bit more about herself and about today’s presentation. 

So as Kelly mentioned, I’m Molly and I’m the clinical outreach coordinator for the Center of Excellence. I live in Denver. I’m from Oklahoma, graduated from OU with a master’s in social work and have been working with various types of people, but mostly in some sort of behavioral health capacity for the last six years. I came on with the service excellence in August of 2019 and since that time I have held a variety of different roles. I’m heavily involved in the aftercare planning process from a case management perspective at the Center of Excellence. So, helping to identify clinicians like high interest, other treatment programs and providers throughout the country for our alumni that are leaving the Center that need ongoing care, but then also for departments or locals and peer support teams. 

So that way you all know your local resources. and making sure that those resources are informed on the fire service and really understand the intricacies of your job. That role has kind of turned into me helping out peer support teams a little bit more and, providing this kind of ongoing, continuing education. Thanks to coronavirus, I can now do it virtually, which I think is cool. So maybe like the tiny bit of silver lining in all of this, but, as Kelly mentioned, you know, we’re going to keep doing these and already have our June dates scheduled. 

I think the last slide of the PowerPoint goes over those dates more in depth. but we know that we’re going to be covering addiction and the fire service, and hope that you guys will join us there too. With that being said, and after giving you a little bit of background on me, we’ll go ahead and get started on the objectives for today. 

As Kelly mentioned, we’re going to talk about work-life balance in some ways too. Potentially achieve greater balance in the fire service than what you may already have we’re going to define it. We’re going to talk about why it’s important and then cover some tips and practical ways to implement some more balance into your life. 

So first up, what is work-life balance?

Work-life balance came to kind of be, or, became a concept that people were interested in in the late seventies, early eighties. It developed in a time period when most people were working a nine to five, Monday through Friday kind of job. 

The purpose of this was just to help working people develop or devote an even amount of time between their work responsibilities and their home life. Over the last few decades because, you know, of our changing world and technology and just kind of an overall increased level of stress that we have balance has gotten really hard and it’s not necessarily this equal amount of time that you spend at work and at home. 

The original concept definitely didn’t take into consideration 24-hour work shifts or being out of the home for multiple days a week. There’s been a lot of research on this topic over the last few decades and a lot of tools have come up and they can help not only shift workers like fire service members or other first responders, but really just kind of all people to help find some balance.

What I mean when I’m talking about work-life balance today is identifying the areas in your life where there are deficits and then compensating accordingly for those deficits. So, identifying areas of improvement and responding accordingly requires awareness of yourself and some ongoing maintenance and that’s super unique to each person. Balance is really fluid in my opinion, and I think in most people’s opinion too, that priorities and what’s important to me could change on a moment’s basis. It could change hourly. It could be daily, weekly, etc. Basically it’s just not this rigid idea. 

By no means is participating in this webinar going to allow you the opportunity to look at yourself one time, realize your deficits and then have perfect balance for the rest of your life. That’s definitely something that requires maintenance and it’s almost kind of like a lifelong process and that commitment is kind of scary or daunting when you think about it. 

The reason that we do it, the reason that you try to find balance is because it’s linked to really positive physical health outcomes, really positive emotional wellbeing outcomes, and just a greater quality of life overall. So the reverse is also true for that. You know, if you live your life completely imbalanced then maybe your physical health is going to suffer, maybe you’re going to be living at a stress level of 10 consistently, and you’re probably not going to be very happy. So although doing something longterm kind of seems difficult it’s still super important because in the long run it’s gonna benefit us. 

So the next slide is a visual example of those kinds of different domains or areas that a person could have deficits in. So the way that I think about these are what are my priorities, what are my values? What’s most important to me in my life?

Those are just some examples that I came up with. If you’re interested in this topic and you really want to find some more balance, I would suggest maybe taking out a piece of paper right now, or at the end of this, or whenever, and just kind of jotting down, what are the top 10, top five or six, you know, things that are really important to me and my life? 

Do I want to have a good relationship, with my faith or finances, am I trying to buy a home right now? Or am I trying to fix up my house? Is my physical health really important? Did I go to the doctor recently and find out that I needed to work on some things. Maybe depression is kicking in and you want to feel happier or just like general good relationships with your kids and your spouse and then your social life too. I think that that’s something that maybe we forget really plays into balance. 

You’re just going to look at, you know, all these different domains and it’s going to be different for everybody, and it’s going to depend on your personality and your environment and definitely your stage of life. What’s important to someone who’s single is definitely going to be different than someone who’s married with kids. So you have to know what your priorities are and then ask yourself. What am I doing in my free time?

Am I neglecting parts of myself or my life that are really important to me are my behaviors in line with my priorities to me? That’s how you find your deficits and you get honest with yourself and ask maybe some tougher questions. 

So next up is why balance is important, which we’ve already kind of talked about, but balance is important because not only is it going to help each person on an individual level. It also creates a healthier and happier work environment. 

Everyone is benefiting when you feel balance. I think the work environments are gonna benefit, and I think family life is going to benefit, your relationships with your friends are going to benefit, which is cool. You know, you’re paying it forward, you’re helping yourself. Then that in turn is doing some good, some greater good. Work-life balance is also really important because it reduces stress, and like I already said strengthens your relationships with others. 

I think both of those are kind of no brainers, but you know, when you’re balanced and feeling good emotionally, it’s easier to be present and it’s more fun to engage with other people. Balance also prevents or can help prevent burnout, which is super important, especially when you’re working in any kind of helping profession, but you know, definitely for you all who are continuing to see some really tough stuff and burnout and compassion, fatigue, again, you know, it’s not only going to affect the individual, but it’s also gonna affect the home life and your work environment. So it’s a lot to kind of be mindful of when you’re thinking about “why should I be balanced?”

Factors influencing balance. I capitalize the ones that I think are some of the biggest contributing factors, but again, all of these are going to be really unique to the person. There are some that across the board kind of have a big influence, one being gender. So research says that men tend to prioritize work over their family life and females tend to prioritize their family life over their work life. 

So sometimes you can see a big difference there, long work hours is another one, and then your family characteristics, which I kind of hit on a minute ago. Single, married, dating, parenting, retired, I mean, there’s lots of different kinds of life stages that somebody could be in that’s going to influence their balance. Again, the ones up there just kind of general time. You know, that’s something that we can’t get away from, it’s a fact of life. 

Another one: stress. We’re going to talk about that next, but also a huge factor; your overall mental health. If you’re not able to kind of go there vulnerably with yourself and have honest, good conversation with yourself and be emotionally aware, then you’re probably not going to be able to recognize your deficits. 

Then, being around, having good social support and being around those people and that can really influence your ability to be balanced. 

Well, like I said, I think that this is maybe one of the biggest factors that impact work-life balance, and definitely one of the main reasons that people started looking into this. So as most people know, stress is this normal, natural reaction that happens to everybody on almost a daily basis, probably everyday. It’s our biological and innate response to these threats in this world around us, and it keeps us safe.

I mentioned earlier in the beginning of this presentation, that in general, there’s just a higher level of stress in our world, and I think that that has to do with our biological response to, kind of just being inundated with a lot of things that feel like threats, maybe not, you know, physical threats or like threats to your life, but definitely stressors. Things that are internal and external. and I think that it’s kind of important to know the difference because it has a lot to do with control and perspective, which we’ll get into. 

External stressors are events or situations that happen to you. So, you know, major life changes, like getting married, having a baby, moving the death of a loved one, divorce, you know, coronavirus, that is a huge external stressor. You know, these are things that maybe we don’t have a ton of control over, or maybe, you know, some choices that we make but these are external things happening to us. 

Then internal stressors are these stress inducing thoughts and behaviors. So these develop from your mindset or expectations about a life or about your life or about a situation. So, you know, putting a lot of pressure on yourself, or you know feeling like you need to be perfect or, maybe having some social anxiety and, and not knowing if you fit in or even getting caught up in, “I should have done this,” or “I should have done that,” or “I should be this person.” All of those are kind of internal stressors that we place on ourselves. 

When I brought up that it’s important to know the difference between these, you have control over your internal stressors to some degree. You know, if you’re noticing that you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, that may be one area to kind of look at, or maybe start with as far as, “how can I get some more balance,” and maybe just develop some more peace of mind. 

So one-time, long-term stressors. I think that makes sense when we talk about external and internal stress, and then again, response to stress is very unique to the person. That last point there is really what I wanted to touch on and go back to. Stress reduction techniques are huge for balance, and there are tons of options out there and it could really be its own webinar and its own talk, and maybe we’ll even do that one day, but there’s a lot that you can go out and check into and research, to really kind of gain some more tools in your toolbox, so to speak.

That first one there for a progressive muscle relaxation techniques. So you could Google that and find videos, you can find articles about it, lots of different options, but I would definitely recommend checking out a few different options and kind of feeling out what might work for you. You could also Google deep-breathing techniques. There are so many of those out there too. 

One that I personally liked the best is called square breathing. If you visualize a square and you start in one corner and you inhale for a count of four, and then you exhale for a count of four, and then you repeat that around the square, It can do wonders for somebody and it’s so simple and also super discrete. You could do this in traffic with your kids in the back of the car. You could do this at, at work. You could do this at the grocery store. There’s a lot of places where you can do some of these stress reduction things and no one around you would have any idea. Google is your friend here and I suggest just checking out tons of different techniques and kind of doing like a mini trial and error process with it. 

Guided meditations are also extremely beneficial, but I do think that this technique, especially, can take a little bit more time than some of the others. On the flip side of that, I think it has maybe some of the best outcomes as far as relaxation goes. There are some apps too that you can download. The super popular ones, which I’m sure you’ve heard of are Calm and Headspace they’re reputable. Maybe check out things that are shorter in length and then build up to like a 20-minute meditation or something like that versus starting big, getting discouraged, and then never going back to it again. 

The last point I want to make here is just, maybe looking into restorative or gentle yoga online. You could Google that exact phrase, either restorative, yoga or gentle yoga and look for something that’s like 20 to 30 minutes in length and you can get some really good, relaxation and stretching from videos like that. General exercise and cardio is also super good too, but just anything to kind of get your body moving and releasing some of that cortisol that comes up when we feel stressed.

Okay, recognizing imbalance. So we’ve kind of already touched on this one a little bit too, but imbalance comes from lacking clear and consistent boundaries between work and personal life. 

I’m not sure if this is just a me thing, or if it’s because I’m aware of what balance is, and I feel like it’s important, but I can physically feel when I feel imbalanced. The best way that I can describe it is just kind of feeling all over the place, scattered. I know that I’m like easily frazzled and kind of running on fumes. I probably look like a crazy person when I feel that way. There’s also this weird conflict between my brain and my body, and I feel physically and mentally tired, but I still recognize that I have all of these things that I have to do and I’m like running on fumes. and I think that that creates even more stress. 

Those are just some things that I think, yeah, as far as what it physically feels like, and maybe that’s, you know, subjective and you have to kind of, check in with yourself to figure out what it feels like for you. 

I know too that when we’re looking at others and trying to maybe look out for our own, some other signs that we could pick up on and you could also maybe apply to yourself are less participation in friendships or family, or maybe even comradery as like a group. Maybe they’re not coming and eating meals or hanging out and watching TV. They’re just kind of isolating themselves because they just have so much going on in their head. It’s hard to really be present in those moments. Maybe just feeling distance in your relationship with them could be a clue. Maybe it seems like they’re not mentally here. Then decreased self-esteem. So not talking very highly of yourself or maybe if these things are true for you, maybe you’re not saying very nice things to yourself, so those can really clue you in to. 

Absenteeism and presenteeism are two things that I think really describe how the work environment is impacted by work-life balance. So absenteeism is when you’re just not coming to work. Maybe you’re so stressed or have so much going on that you have to make the choice of “Okay. I can’t go to work today. I have to call in”. 

Presenteeism is when you do show up and you’re mentally not there, which to me in the fire service would be extremely dangerous or could be extremely dangerous because, you know, it’s important to be able to be able to compartmentalize and not think about, or leave home at home and be present for work because you know, a lot of these situations are, are life or death. So those are two things that I hadn’t really heard of until I started researching this topic, and so I just thought that those were some terms that I could share with you guys that I thought were interesting. 

Alright. So, the next slide is getting balanced. Now that we’ve talked about why it’s important and hopefully how to recognize it, and the natural question is, how do I get there? 

So again, you have to be honest with yourself and have some introspection and figure out what’s important and how you’re going to devote or carve out time for whatever that thing or people or whatever it is. 

Sometimes that means, you know, making an actual schedule and literally setting aside time from like two to 3:00 PM or four to 6:00 PM every other day, say to give back to yourself. It’s also really important to be able to recognize those early warning signs of stress, or maybe even those early warning signs that I described as imbalance. I think that you could think of those as kind of like your check engine lights on a car. 

When I start thinking or behaving in a certain way, those check engine lights are my clues that I need to stop and check in with myself and slow down and really take an inventory because once everything is present, once you already have all these negative symptoms, so to speak, it’s really hard to cope, it’s really hard to come down. So recognizing it early can be a huge help.

Let’s see. So mindfulness, which those stress reduction techniques that we talked about earlier are also super important, Routine I think is also very important for balance whether it’s, you know, in the morning when you wake up or in the evening. It doesn’t really matter what time of day it is, but doing things that feel good for you or that are important to you on a regular basis can be a very important protective factor. Things like going on a long walk after work, for me, that’s super important or, you know, reading or being in nature. I mean, anything that you can do and take a time out and recharge your batteries is really important. 

It makes it easier to work harder or push through some stress because you know that you’re going to get this reward so to speak at the end of it. Predictability is also really important. I think that that goes hand-in-hand with routines and predictability and a routine also really helps with anxiety because our brains know what to expect versus fearing the unknown. Something just to keep in mind about the importance of those routines. 

Setting goals, achievable goals is really important as well because every time you set a goal and you reach it, it feels like a win and it makes it easier to push through because there’s a reward at the end of this. I know that I’m gonna feel good when I get to say that I accomplished this goal or that I get to cross this off my to-do list. 

Daily goals would be very helpful, even if it’s something small, like sending a text to a loved one. Maybe I’m gonna send my kid a text every morning telling them how much I love them, and that’s just something that I get in the routine of doing every day, but you’re grateful and you appreciate that opportunity every day.

You’re mindful of it too. It’s not just, you know, going through the motions. Again, you know, it just gives you a sense of control and the research shows that a sense of control, lower stress, stress levels. So make them realistic and make them achievable and I would be willing to bet that you’ll have some good feelings come from that.

Okay, so now we’re going to just briefly kind of cover some additional ways to find balance during a pandemic, from what I’ve been told by some of my colleagues at the Center of Excellence, and then also in my conversations with fire fighters in the community is that they’re feeling higher levels of anxiety. I put a lot of things up here that I think are just like really good for general anxiety, but also are applicable in this situation too. 

The first one up there, I think kind of says it all, but it’s radical acceptance. It’s one of my favorite ways to handle it, stress and change, especially. and what it means is that you just expect life on life’s terms and that there are things in life that you can control. You’re still going to recognize that something like the coronavirus is the worst and there’s been so much pain and so much suffering. Because of that all of these people and lives have been impacted or changed. Unfortunately it’s here and there’s just nothing that we can do about it to change it. 

In this context, radical acceptance is that despite all of that, I’m still going to physically and emotionally take care of myself and I’m going to do what I can on a daily basis to keep myself, my family, my coworkers, and my community safe. It’s just saying, okay, this is it. I’m going to do what I can within the limits of what I have. 

The next step there is setting limits. I think it’s really important to limit the amount of information that we inputting into our brains, and I think it’s really important to acquire news from a lot of different places and then make an informed decision on what you believe and what you think is right, and what you think is safe for you to do. 

I mean, obviously we have to uphold the standards of your job or, you know, the department or what have you, but, when it comes to how you’re processing things and putting things into perspective, I think you have to get as much as you can from multiple places. 

So then let’s see compensation is important in this instance, too. If you’re going to spend a lot of time consuming information, I think you also need to find time to turn off your brain and relax. 

If I’m going to watch however much time of news, and maybe I’m going to go walk that much by myself, or I’m going to spend X amount of time with my kids after I do that, just to kind of take a break from what you just heard. Sometimes the news is really hard to hear, especially right now. 

Controlling your perspective is similar to radical acceptance, but it also has to do with not letting your mind get the best of you and staying in reality, staying in the present moment. I know that I personally have a horrible tendency to allow my thoughts to snowball and play kind of the “what if” game with myself. Sometimes I have to consciously tell myself to return to the present moment and remind myself of the facts of that situation. Then, on top of that maybe to even get to that point of being able to fact check myself, I have to do some deep breathing and use some of those stress reduction techniques that we talked about. 

I just bring that up to say that sometimes it’s a process and we have to use several techniques in tandem. Sometimes something’s going to work and other times something isn’t going to work. You really just have to be prepared and have all your tools right there and know that it’s going to take work, and sometimes it’s going to take more work than you want it to. 

Staying connected to others is another really important one, too, especially now. When all the shutdowns started, I remember reading an article or listening to someone talk. I don’t remember what it was, but they were saying that social distancing is a misnomer because we aren’t really social distancing, we’re just physically distancing. Just because we can’t see people and be in the physical moment with them, we can still connect and we can still invest in those relationships. 

All it means is that we just have to get creative in how we’re connecting to our world and connecting to other people. Physical exercise is also super important in these times. I don’t think you need to like go out and start this CrossFit gym or, you know, have a super intense workout regimen. I think it just means that you need to take maybe a 30 minute walk with a dog or go on a bike ride with your kids, or, you know, just do something simple where you can get outside and just kind of decompress and get some fresh air, because I mean, cabin fever, I think is super real. 

Next slide is just some more tips on work life balance. Now, we for sure covered a lot of them, but the ones up there that we haven’t covered are take time off. I know that that’s probably hard to do right now, but whenever you can, you know, take some time off, take a vacation, take a staycation, whatever it looks like. Definitely allow yourself the opportunity to take some breaks. 

Time management skills go back to routine and carving out time for yourself. I personally still use a paper planner and I literally will mark time for myself in my weekly schedule because otherwise I don’t do it, but if it’s there on paper and I know I don’t have anything else to do, then I’m going to do it. 

Family calendars are also kind of another way to do this. Maybe if you’re wanting to connect more with your family, maybe get a calendar and put it in your kitchen or put it somewhere where everyone’s going to see it and that may be a good way to stay connected or make some time for each other. Maybe you see that on this side of the week, nobody has anything going on. So you take the initiative and schedule something with your family. Just kind of putting it out there for everybody to see. 

Unplugging from electronics is also huge and so hard to do. I think it’s important to leave your phone in the other room or put it on silent or not check your phone as often as possible. It’s easier said than done a lot of the time, and I think we’re just so attached to our phones that we don’t even realize it. 

Something that’s kind of stuck with me randomly that I’ve just been thinking about lately. I was listening to a TED talk, and this person was talking about how she hopes one day it becomes a commonplace for people to leave their phones at the front door of someone else’s house, just like you would take off your shoes. I think that that would be so cool. 

You know, maybe if we could just start in some tiny way implementing that into our lives, that’s kind of us doing our part to get there, and connect, which is also so important than I think we’ve talked about that several times throughout this presentation. You know, if you have the opportunity to sit with somebody in person and especially right now during these times when we can’t get together, as much as we would, there’s no other type of connection that’s going to be, you know, being in person and looking someone in the eyes. 

Another really important tip would be delegating responsibilities. When I think about delegating responsibilities in terms of the fire service, the people that come up in my mind are the peer support team leaders or people that are, you know, running some other type of department, or team, you know, within their local or what have you. 

The more that you can spread out these tasks, the better your stress levels are going to be. I think something that’s super dangerous is to get into a head space of thinking, you know, “I’m the only one that can do this. I’m the only one that knows this information.” “I can’t take the time to tell anybody else that’s just going to slow me down” or something like that, because the reality is eventually there is going to come a time where someone else is going to have to do that job. I think the more that you can delegate and the more that you can teach other people about whatever it is that you’re doing and the important work that you’re doing, kind of the better that everything’s going to get.

In terms of kids, I think that this is true too. You know, they’re going to have to learn a time to cook for themselves or to do their own laundry. If your home life is stressing you out right now, maybe now’s a good time, if your kids are old enough, to start delegating some responsibilities and having them help around the house too.

The last two bullet points there, and I feel like I’ve hit them pretty hard, but definitely want to reiterate again that finding and maintaining balance takes honest communication with yourself and emotional awareness. You have to be able to do that and, and hold that space for yourself before you can really kind of get to a place of feeling balanced. I think that they’re just the first two steps in this whole process. If that’s something that you’re struggling with, maybe that’s where you start. 

That brings me to the end of the presentation and there we have our June dates. So I think that they’re correct, but June 11th, the 18th and the 25th Kelly, let me know if they’re not, but those are the dates and topics for our next presentation. So if anyone has any questions, I think we’ll take those now or I’ll throw it back over to Kelly. 

Molly said before we get into the questions, we do have the other training coming up. So, for those of you that participated in last week’s training, it was an introduction to cultural competency for clinicians, but very valuable information for fire service members as well.

We got a lot of great feedback on that. We had more than 200 participants. We’re going to be offering that again on June 11th and we’re excited to do that.

June 18th is Addiction in the Fire Service for Clinicians. That’s going to be a more clinical focus training, effective strategies for treatment for those fire service members who might be struggling with substance use disorder or addiction, similar to what we treat at the Center of Excellence. On June 25th, a version of that presentation, but geared more towards fire service members themselves, some symptoms of identifying so you’re able to identify these types of issues within your local department, and you know, how we can provide resources to help. 

So, let’s answer some of these questions and if you have questions right, come up or you’re thinking about them, please I’m in the Q and A box. We’d love to answer them as we go. I know people might consider some more questions as we go along. It has actually just started thundering and lightning where I am. So sunny, Florida is definitely a misnomer. 

Starting out from Andrew Siebel, this is more of an adjustment than a question, but you had his attention until you said, Ooh, go Posts. That’s the gut right. Okay. 

From Scotty Riddle. What are some ways of dealing with higher than normal stress levels the morning after a sleepless shift? So if you could maybe elaborate a bit on sleep deprivation and how that impacts work-life balance and stress levels, as you did, I’m a bit last week, that would be helpful.

Sleep definitely makes things either more difficult or easier, depending on, you know, if you got more sleep or less sleep, I think if you’re coming off shift and you didn’t get a whole lot of sleep the night before, something that’s super important to do is relaxation. 

I know that I had mentioned in the presentation today about these stress reduction techniques, and those are helpful for relaxation too, but some other things that are helpful is doing that on a consistent basis because it makes it easier for you to access those levels of relaxation. While right now it may be really hard for you to get sleep after those tough shifts, if you spend consistent amounts of time doing things like yoga or meditation, or some other type of mindfulness practice it will be easier for you to get to those levels of relaxation.

It’s kind of like a muscle, you know, the more that you work it, the easier it becomes. I think you just have to definitely start implementing some different things. Something that I was told a while back at a conference was a lot of people, this guy was like a sleep expert, I can’t remember his name, but he was talking about how in this line of work or really in general, we’re told that you shouldn’t take naps throughout the day that that’s going to impact your sleep later on.  What this guy was saying was that if you feel tired, you need to honor that and take a nap when needed. 

Something else that someone told me when I was doing some research for this presentation actually was that stress reduction, these relaxation exercises, they can sometimes, if you do it correctly and do it for long enough that it will give you the feeling of relaxation that hours of sleep may give you. You really have to kind of just put in the time and the effort I think, to get to that place. It’s super hard at first, but I think in the long run, the more you do it, the better or easier it becomes.

Awesome. We just had some input from Steve Nash in the chat that said we call them safety naps on shift. So, that’s great to hear that, you know, that’s already being implemented in certain places and recognized as a value add rather than a sign of not being able to be functional because we need to function and it only can negatively impact a lot of other issues much, much worse if it isn’t attended to. 

Okay. From Christian Carver. maybe Kristin, I apologize if I’m pronouncing that wrong. Can you explain more about the radical part of radical acceptance? 

I think what it comes from, and this may just be my way of interpreting it. I think if I were to do some research right now, you know, pull up Google or whatever, I could get you a solid answer. What I think it comes from is the situation is so bad and there’s still negatives in it and you are still acknowledging the negative. Although that something is bad and it’s not what you would choose for it to be, you’re just going to go ahead and go to the extreme, the radical side of that and say, it’s okay, I’m going to accept it, and it is what it is. So I think that that’s what it means by radical that it’s like the exact opposite.

Let’s see Danny from Baton Rouge. So glad you’re here. He said fear is a symptom of many during these times, not only for themselves, but their families’ exposure. We talked a little bit  about new exposures and concerns about that with COVID last week, is there anything you want to add regarding, you know, work-life balance, especially when a lot of members aren’t able to be at home with their families right now, and aren’t able to spend that time that they might, normally would for quarantine purposes or other safety concerns. 

I really don’t think that there’s a good answer here, because I think no matter what the situation is unfortunate. If you’re being quarantined away from your family or you’re feeling isolated, or you’re feeling extremely fearful, there are certain coping skills that we can use to work through those things. I think at the end of the day, you just have to radically accept that this will end and things will get better, and look to the positive side of things. 

I don’t mean that you have to be, you know, butterflies and rainbows. I definitely think you still have to keep things in perspective, but sometimes it can really help to have these honest conversations with yourself and just say, this is what I can do in this moment. Maybe I can’t go home to my family, but I’m going to FaceTime them every opportunity that I have, or, you know, I’m going to fill my cup and other ways. I think right now, we all just have to get super creative in how we’re coping with that fear, and with that anxiety. 

You know, if you’re feeling overly anxious and overly fearful to this point of really being concerned about yourself, or if there’s someone that you’re concerned for I think absolutely reaching out for professional help is the number one route to take, because it’s a slippery slope. 

Things can change quickly for somebody and I think you just have to reach out. If you’re noticing someone else, you know, noticing change in someone else, maybe talk to them, maybe you take the initiative and reach out, but I really think it’s, it’s a tough spot that we all find ourselves in right now. 

It brings us perfectly to our next question from Keith Beerwish. He had mentioned, if your balance is way off would it be better to seek professional help or seek someone to help, or try to kind of go at this on your own? So at the end of the presentation when I reiterated those last two points about honest communication and emotional awareness, I really should have been clear at that moment. That’s kind of what I was alluding to. If you have to start from this place of feeling really imbalanced and not really knowing what these emotions are that you’re feeling, not being able to label them or identify them, then maybe you do need the help, the objective help of someone else; of a therapist or a peer support team member. 

Sometimes when we’re so bogged down and we feel so bad, it’s really hard to like see through that and see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. I definitely think if you’re having trouble with honest communication with others or with yourself or emotional awareness or feeling super off balance, even if you don’t know what your priorities are, I would definitely recommend going and talking to a professional just to kind of maybe have a sounding board, you know?

Excellent. Okay. From John Malone, COVID-19 presents a unique situation with constant stress all through our life activities, work and play, even the simple act of going to a store to shop or take a walk. This is on top of everything that, you know, fire service members would be dealing with in terms of stressful situations at work, which is their day-to-day. 

How do you deal with constant stress that really we haven’t seen before? It seems impossible. I would agree. I think in terms of COVID-19 right now, maybe it goes back to that perspective and following your perspective, for mental health and behavioral health, there’s a baseline, right? Or I think in other instances too, there are baselines, and this is kind of like your normal operating function and level of functioning. So right now we’re outside of that baseline to no fault of our own. Right? 

Maybe that’s the perspective that you have to take that okay for these next few months or maybe for the rest of 2020. However long it is, my baseline is going to be up here. My goal is to get back down to that normal level of functioning, but it is going to be harder, right? Yeah. It is going to take more of a physical toll or an emotional toll. I think that you just have to keep that perspective of I’m going to do what I can at this moment and that’s going to be enough right now. 

So I think it’s just harder and I wish that I had a better answer. I wish that there was some great research out there that says, okay, in a pandemic, this is what you do, but there’s just not.

So I think you just have to stay grateful and stay focused on, on what you can do in the present moment.

Absolutely. We have a question from Chad asking where you sign up for future trainings. I imagine other people have this question too. So I’ve asked Myrrhanda, hopefully she’s there somewhere to drop the links for the Zoom registration for the upcoming trainings in the chats. 

Everyone has access to that, but you can also find them on our Facebook page, the IAFF Center of Excellence Facebook page, and these things will also be available. Trying to think if they’re on the website. They’re not on the website yet. but we’re going to get you guys the link. So we’ll also share the links with you via email, because we know that you attended this training and might be interested in the next ones. One way or another, we will get you the links to sign up, but you can easily find them, through the Center of Excellence, Facebook page, under the events tab. 

Let’s see. This is from Dave Kane. Can Molly talk a little bit about cognitive distortions? 

I’m wondering if we could ask Dave the follow up questions, just so I can know more about what he’s asking. What do you mean cognitive distortions, obviously in terms of work-life balance, but not sure exactly?

David seems to be able to elaborate. Yep. While Dave is hopefully following up so we can answer that, from Christian G in Canada, hello, to all of our Canadian affiliates and friends. 

I know it’s a little off topic, but could someone cover the steps for admission to the Center of Excellence, especially for members from Canada? 

We’ll give you the very quick details on if you have a member that needs to get to the Center of Excellence. We have several phone numbers, but one phone number in particular, (855) 900-8437. We can drop that in the chat too. that is aligned to our admission center. They are a one-stop shop for taking someone through the process of getting to the Center of Excellence.

My team, me, Myrrhanda, Molly, we’re also here to assist with that. So we’re going to put our emails in the chat too, in the event that you have any specific questions. In regards to Canadian members, they call me canadian Kelly, and I can help answer specific perfect questions too, because yeah, that is a unique process, given the differences in our healthcare systems. 

We’ve done some work in Toronto and, or rather Ontario, sorry. I know Ontario is bigger than Toronto and, also in British Columbia, but we’ve had members come in from several different provinces. I would be happy to set up a time to speak with you about that because, there are still a lot of questions and we’re navigating that process in a lot of different ways and we can continue to work together on that, but we’ll just need a lot more time, time, to chat about it. Like I said, my email in the chat and if you would just send me an email and we can set up a phone, I would love that. okay. 

We’ve got some more questions. Heck yeah, first from Steve Nash, if we are members, not clinicians, I assume it is still okay to tune into the clinical events. Absolutely. Anyone is welcome. We’re just trying to make sure that we cater specifically to different audiences, because a lot of times they’re interested in different things and I’m kind of hearing about the same issue from a different perspective. 

This allows Molly to focus on more of a clinical audience with the clinician training and then more of a fire service-specific audience with the fire service training. Either population can probably gain a lot from either training, so please do join us if you’re interested. Okay. more for you Molly. From Anthony P, how do you deal with shift conflict and stress in the firehouse communication and team-building skills seem to be failing and administration turning a blind eye to the situation?

Well, that’s a loaded question for sure. I think as far as conflict goes, if you’re having interpersonal conflict the best that I would say is to address that directly with somebody, and maybe you do it off-shift just to kind of keep good boundaries. As far as getting administration involved, I think that there’s strength in numbers and it’s different for each department as far as the way administration works and the structure of it and all that.

I think if you can get some people together and really lay out some points and maybe have a good discussion around what you would like to see change, that might be helpful. I would say to that for that person, if you want to reach out to me directly, since that is kind of such a loaded question, maybe we could brainstorm some ideas and think about maybe some things that are more specific to that exact situation.

Thanks, Molly. I was just able to drop our email addresses, in the chat as well as links to the trainings coming up to register for those. So please check that out if you’re interested in following up with us on anything in regards to this training or future trainings and also registering directly. OK. 

More questions while social distancing off work, my work has become my whole social life. Both my favorite parts and the difficult parts of the job or amplified without the normal outside distractions. Are there mental exercises or breathing techniques that may help, that can help me prompt myself to separate work frustrations and anxieties.

I definitely think that there are. I had just pulled up Google to see what would happen if I Googled deep breathing, coming home from work or something like that. I didn’t have a chance to pull it up. I do think that those things exist. 

Something that I’ve heard said several times, actually from multiple different people at conferences that I’ve gone to is when they’re leaving or, you know, driving away from work, looking in their rear view mirror and taking a deep breath and maybe looking at yourself in the eye and just kind of this very, cleansing breath. That’s what they call it, and yeah, yoga is, you know, when you breathe in really deeply and then you let it out like a very large size, sometimes that can be really helpful. 

Visualization is also really helpful. I think we’re asked for that rearview mirror kind of comes into play, like physically seeing you leave something behind, and then challenging yourself to get into a different mindset. I think self-talk is really important. A lot of times we’re not super clued in to what we’re saying to ourselves. I think the more that you can listen to that, maybe the more that you can figure out, how do I leave this behind? What works for me? Mantras, I think are huge and can be really helpful and kind of get you in there. It can be a routine almost, you know, you kind of play a trick with your brain and then your brain learns that, Oh, when I say this mantra, or when I do this thing or have this activity then that’s going to set me up to feel better afterwards, but I think that if you can go to find some good. 

Awesome. Let’s see, from Diane Hawkins, my clinicians are not IAFF, will they be able to watch the clinical training? Absolutely. We expect that most clinicians are not IAFF members. We’re trying to bring more clinical professionals into the fold, so that we have them as aftercare resources, local resources, and they are able to acquire some more training on dealing with fire service members and best practices, and things we’ve learned from work at the Center of excellence. So, membership is definitely not required for the clinical training. It’s not required for anything or trainings. and we encourage anyone who might benefit to join.

Okay, from Dave. Dave, thanks for providing more information. He provided a definition of cognitive distortion, regarding, you know, a fire fighter might have a bad call and even though they may have done everything they could and did everything right. They’re telling themselves that they aren’t good at their job. So Molly, could you maybe just elaborate about how that type of distortion can impact work-life balance, kind of taking that stuff home?

Yeah, so that goes right in line with internal stress. That slide way back when that talks about the differences of internal and external stress. So external stress are those things that are happening to you, like life changes and then that internal stress are kind of self-induced. 

So those cognitive distortions, I call it shitting on yourself, and with that. Kelly’s raising her eyebrows. but what that means is when you’re just constantly saying I should’ve, I should’ve, I should’ve, I should’ve, and that’s playing this “what if” game? That’s living kind of in the past. Itreally does start your reality because you start to buy into those things and you start to believe the things. The more that those things, the more that it’s true. Then the more that your thinking becomes distorted, they’re called automatic negative thoughts. So that would be another one of those instances. If you’re having a lot of that come up, that you may want to go talk to a professional.

Great. Yvonne is asking, is there a list by region or area of clinicians that have cultural competency in the fire service? I would like to be on it as an LPC, but also to have other clinicians to work with and brainstorm. Before you answer that, yes, I did think you said something totally different. Nate Katz just typed it out for me, shitting on yourself and, that’s funny, but I did think he said something, something else. So haha joke was on me. But if you could answer Yvonne’s question regarding our lists and our database of clinicians that work with first responders.

That’s hilarious. not the question, but Kelly’s little story. Okay. So as far as clinician lists go, two things that I want to address here. So, part of my job is to identify and vet these clinicians. If you are one of these people who you feel like you have experienced working with first responders, or this is something you’re passionate about and you want to learn more about it, please reach out to me or I can you, and, you know, we can kind of do like a mini little vetting kind of situation. 

We’d just kind of make sure that you are competent in this population and that you know what you’re doing just to prevent any sort of issues down the road. We hear a lot of times from fire service members saying that they went and saw a clinician and ended up feeling like they traumatized that person. 

We’re just trying to mitigate any of that kind of stuff. So absolutely, we have a database so to speak. It’s not a list, but, if I can meet you and talk to you and verify who you are and your experiences, then absolutely. We would love to work with you and collaborate and have some sort of reciprocal relationship and flip side of that. I mean, on the flip side, two second part is, you know, if you are looking, if you’re a fire service member and looking for resources in your area, we can share those names with you as well. You would just need to reach out to us again. So big answers small questions. 

A super important question, and one of the things that we’re really focused on, as an entity, but also with this initiative and the webinars is, you know, growing our network of clinicians that have this experience and this training. So that we’re setting our members up for success when they return home from the Center of Excellence. Also those that are looking for outpatient resources. If we don’t know about clinicians in the area that are doing great work, we can’t connect them. We want to make sure that we’re bridging those gaps as best as we can every time. So thank you for that question. We look forward to connecting with you, to do exactly what Molly described hopefully very soon. 

From Travis H., do you have any recommended resources, books, guides, et cetera, for spouses who are dealing with a returning partner who is regularly wrecked from shift? Maybe you can just elaborate on some of the things we’ve heard regarding distress among spouses, from clients at the Center, and also some of the things that we do to help them too.

Yes, I do have books and resources. I’ve actually found some YouTube videos that are of a clinician and a fire fighter. They’re being interviewed by another clinician and talking about how PTSD can change the relationship between spouses and what it looks like at home. I would absolutely love to share all of those with you. Kelly, if you’ll write down his name and I can, if you have his email, I can just send those directly to you. 

In addition, I think what Kelly was alluding to about what to elaborate on. I help find clinical reasoning and I guess as well. So, you know, if your wife is struggling or your husband is struggling or even your parents or your kids or whatever it looks like you can absolutely reach out to me and I can let you know who a good clinician may be. I think that that kind of sums up what you were looking for me to address, but, I, we definitely feel like the family is an important part of this whole process and we want them to get resources that they need too. So, I’ll follow up with that person via email.

Absolutely. Well, I don’t see any additional questions. We’ll give people a few seconds. If you have one, please drop it in the chat. I hope that this was a value to you. I know we have had a lot of peer support members and leaders on this call. That’s actually what I wanted to maybe end on, is what can, those that were on the call, peer support liaisons members, leaders do to support work life balance among their colleagues and peers? How can they kind of lead the charge on improving this for fire service members?

To me, the two biggest things. I mean, I think there are tons of ways that you could go about it taking that charge. To me, the first one is modeling it. So, taking action and doing it yourself and talking about it, being important, talking about what you’re seeing and your coworkers or your peers, talking about how it’s helping you. 

I think the more that we can model some of these vulnerabilities so to speak or talk about our vulnerabilities, just the better that things get. and you know, I’m happy to create something that you can send out to your peer support teams. That’s a list of tips or this presentation or whatever it looks like. I think that the more that you can put this information out there and give people really practical tips and tools, the better that is going to be, so I just really believe in communication and knowledge is power. So share that we’re good at it. Share it via email if you want to at some point, but, just really being practical and modeling it.

Awesome. I just got a notification. My internet connection is unstable due to the weather. So I think that’s the perfect time to wrap up as a reminder we have the upcoming trainings on the screen.

June 11th, is a repeat of the introduction to cultural competency that we offered last week. June 18th is Addiction in the Fire Service for Clinicians, but anyone is welcome. June 25th is that similar presentation, but geared for fire service members would be perfect for peer support team members and anyone that’s looking to learn more and support community members and their colleagues and peers. 

So I hope to see you all then. If you have any questions, I just dropped our emails again in the chat, so please if there’s anything we can do to help and we are recording this. We will probably have it available by next week on the IAFF recovery center website under continuing education. 

If you are looking for it and can’t find it, please again, shoot us an email, let us know, but thank you all so much for joining us. We’re so glad you were here. We hope you have an excellent afternoon or evening wherever you might be located, and we will see you hopefully at the next one. Thanks, Molly. Thank you for joining us, please visit our website, IAFFrecoverycenter.com, for future training opportunities and recorded webinars. Thank you for all you do.